Alchemy

On December 20th, 2013 my grandmother's sun had set. It was a shock to the family, we had gotten a call that she had a heart attack and the hospital was trying to revive her and they succeeded. At her old age anything detrimental to her health could easily be her downfall. I remember being in my sister's living room when my mom got the call from the doctors, from the expression and tears on  my mothers face it seemed as though he told her that my grandmother wasn't going to make it...and she didn't. I couldn't believe it for two months, after those two months and the huge break-up with my first love reality sunk in.

I was so angry, depressed and sad I didn't know what to feel or where to go. All I could think about was seeing her one last time, or how I could of seen her more often. But what I failed to realize was that no heart attack or ill health determined the fate of my grandmothers life...only God did. I could have seen her everyday but that would not change His plans and that has been accepted. After all I dealt with I found myself becoming closer to my family and God. It helped me a great deal. Although the thoughts of her are fresh and it still hurts I know now she is happier than ever--she is home.

Although my grandmother was physically gone, her morals, ideas, culture and tradition forever remains and I couldn't be happier. Yes it is sad but all the life lessons and knowledge she left with us makes us feel like she never left. I learned that in life things don't happen the way you expect them too but does that mean they shouldn't be? We could all look to the sky and scream why but we should really scream why not. It took the death of the most wonderful woman for a strong to see what she gave us that death could never take away: love, perseverance and family. I have grown to understand that and I have my grandmother, my family and God to thank.



Alchemy

the components of matter
so what matters to you?
Alchemy is science, building, atoms and chemicals
what makes up the world and we...
we are just people, not atoms....are we matter?
well we, we matter
Alchemy is forming something from one form to another I suppose
like you and I, we are the true definitions of Alchemy
your minds, bodies and souls are Alchemy
constantly trying to change who we were to someone we want to be or change or minds to think thoughts we want to think
Alchemy can be changing silver to gold, old to new, cheap to valuable
Who is the Alchemist?
the very "who" who wants a better chance at life? a better life? the reason is unclear
some use science to improve or run from
be that as it may, know that no metal can be two
only one metal, only one you
your form is your identification, your keepsake. whether it mental or physical
so know when you are changing you
your changing what matters, if that matters to you

 

Experience

Throughout our lives we often are never sure where things are going to go! we hope they go left and go right and other times we beg for them to go right but they turn left. this post will explain some of the things that happened in my life that didn't work out the way I wanted to but like everything else in life their is a silver lining. through it all, the good experiences and the bad ones I learned something new about myself that I only have those experiences to thank.

I hope this isn't cliché but my first real break-up was the worst. Depressed, sad, eating everything. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it. Thank God for him and family; my mom was always there and I swore I would never get past it and she told me that decades ago when it was her she felt the same way... that eased the pain. But I am happy to say with support and prayer I over came it like all other obstacles. I learned then that your mother is truly your best friend and nothing brings a girl closer to her mom than a broken heart and tears.

A moment in my life where I had the hugest epiphany and decide what direction I wanted my future to go in , was when I was in my World History Class in the tenth grade. I was so amazed with the colonization of Africa and how it became this melting pot of language and cultures. Understanding how European culture merged with African culture to create some of the most prominent languages and cultural diversity astounded me and still does. it was then that I decided that I was to learn all about cultures and how they were made, where they come from and why they are the way they are. it was later in life I discovered that Anthropologist study that and more; so that is where I want to be.

You know how everyone is a good singer when they are in the shower? or in the confinement of their own home? that's me! A power that I have that I'm still determining is singing. I always sang and dance as a child, fearing nothing and never timid. I dance to this dance and I am confident in it all the way but singing? When it comes to singing only four people to this day have heard me...on purpose. I have been told I have a nice voice and I sing well, but I am still skeptical. I am just hoping one day, sooner than later that the power  of singing will empower me!


Worst Job Ever!!

I knew it was whack pay never in stacks
pre teen hours boss sleep in the back
never had a chance, that car is gone
guess I'll be forever mowing the lawn
the house the shoes and clothes and the car
vendetta and Gucci and coach bazar
25 a hour where they do that at?
can you send the memo to the boss in the back
guess I'll be sweeping, cleaning and all
just till I get the money so we really can ball
can't take the crappy pay for those extra hours
40 to 10 yeah your the liar
but I'm not lyin and I'm not playin
the must be real crazy if they think I'm staying
the smock, the hat, the tag you keep it
cuz with me gone somebody will need it
early in the morning to late at night
cut down on the parties and hot summa nights
you say your top notch and debonair
got a petition of those who declare
that this is a fraud and your fraud master
mastering what? when we're running faster
out of this establishment and out of your face
you chasin me you chasin me you chasin me fast
you chasin me you chasin me, I'm chasin this cash!

Power

A moment when I discovered I had a "power" was when I was a child. As long as I could remember I was always a friendly and social child. Of course I had my share of shyness but for the most part I always had a friend or two. As a child I was creative and like many other little girls I wanted to be married one day, with a house, a car and a daughter... not a son. I always loved to write growing up, I think that is my strongest power. I can recall one of my favorite moments as a child when I was learning to write, I must have been in kindergarten of first grade. Carelessly, I was writing letters together to make new words and my siblings were shocked to see that I wrote a swear. I smile every time I think about the story because I was so young I didn't even know what a swear was until someone told me it was a bad word and to never write it. That was the last time I wrote a swear.

A time in my life as a child where I felt venerable and belittled had to be in third grade when I was bullied by twin girls that I know to this day. My family knew and confronted the school but the school did very little and it prolonged. I was called all kind of names that I at the time didn't even fully understand until I got older. When me and my parents moved to North Carolina their was a shift in the personalities in the people. When I started fourth grade there and made friends they told me to never let anyone push around and to always stand up for yourself. That's one of the reasons I loved NC, I still do. Ever since then I've never had a problem asserting myself and I'm thankful for it.

Some exercises that I do to harness my strengths are to be dedicated in my writing. No matter how I write whether it is correct or incorrect in the eyes of society it is mines. I will always take pride in my writing whether it is academic or recreational. Practices I have to harness my power is to always be humble and thankful. Everything to me is a blessing whether it is good or bed, the negative impacts in life are powers itself. If you are true to yourself and push yourself to be the best you can be on a daily basis your powers are endless.

When I was a Limitless Child

 

 When I was a Limitless Child

I loved life and always had fun.

Always running around with a smile on my face,
Simply being a child, my oh my how I miss those days.

When my hardest decision was what crayons to use,
And I didn't have a care in this world, just cruise.
It always seemed like the world was mines,
Playing astronauts going to the moon and stars.

Waking up in the morning to watch cartoons,
Now we don't think cartoons are cool.
Going to school an hour early,
Now we show up an hour tardy.

Remember when our parents were the best?
It's sad to see how most take them for granted.
Life as we once lived and knew it,
Can change in a flash, just one instant.